I get asked a lot if I am a lesbian, a boy, a "trans" and everything but what I really am. Sorry world. I'm straight. I know it might seem difficult to think that based on how I dress, my natural masculinity and the way I express affection in my novels and in real life, but I assure you I am not sinning, I am not confused and straight. I enjoy the touch of a man despite being called by Yahweh to remain single until my death. But "labels" tick me off.
As a follower of Yahweh, I simply acknowledge that the Godhead created male and female. Two genders. Science has proven there are biologically two genders and it is impossible to separate sex and gender, as those terms refer to the same thing. I don’t care what people’s preferences are or what they think should be normal. When Yahweh says its confusion and the secular scientists even say it is confusion and not biologically sane or possible, that’s exactly what it means.
Due to demonic activity, devils have poisoned humanity's minds and since no one wants to "test" anything, much less take the time to understand which deity is real so they can know what's up, they accept these changes. I shake my head and cannot understand how humanity wants to live in a such an unstable, forever changing society all around the world. Now in highschool that's where sexual confusion came in, but not because I went looking for it. Oh no. If only it went like that, then I could take full responsibility for my actions.
I was bullied over my appearance, over having armpit hair, over being naturally masculine, so of course other kids thought I was weird, but more than weird, they insisted I was a lesbian. Men have armpit hair, but a woman can’t? That’s toxic beauty standards, but at the time I didn’t know that so I couldn’t defend myself. Their comments about my natural body hair growth growing where Yahweh designed it to be, confused me and Yahweh is not the author of confusion. Lucifer is. And when it comes to spiritual matters, it does matter what people think, it does matter what people say. Devils influence our emotions, our actions, but can never force us to do something. This is why sin is so effective. It's invisible and constantly tempting us, yet Christ said temptation isn't the sin, it's when we give into temptation and execute what where’re tempted with marks a sin. I also know based on Paul's letters when he said our fight (humanity) isn't against flesh and blood, but against the Prince Of The Air and powers in high places.
But you know... as a kid no one told me these things how to react to such events. People were my constant issue, always so sure of what I was and what I wasn't. Did I make the mistake of believing their lies? Yes, because I didn't know what else to do. Everyone was so sure and at my high schools it's scary how ridiculous peer pressure is and it was equally how powerful the devils were working behind those people just to get me to question Yahweh. All in the hope I would blame him for those "feelings" and "attractions".
I fought through it because I knew what the Bible said, so I knew it was wrong to have those feelings, but it didn't stop those rumors, it didn't stop the devils from feeding my flesh lies. I was internally wrecked and going crazy.
Teachers even dared to say,
"Well, are you?"
Not. Helpful at all. I was teased by one teacher in particular and she always made lesbian jokes with me and singled me out. My ability to be friendly with both sexes and have innocent affection didn't help my cases. Now I'm being ridiculed for showing affection to my friends and family members and told I'm being bad and need to stop. I thought after school and college this would stop. No. It got worse. Workforce was even worse.
Let me break this down for you. I wore dresses, had long hair, but I was still a lesbian? I shave my head, now I'm suddenly a man? I put a cap on my head to hide my broken dry, damaged hair and then I'm trans? What? Really? I never profiled anyone in my family, in my school, colleges, or workplaces, but I was always everyone's target board. I was "broke" and needed correction. I'm being judge me because I'm naturally masculine and because I can show pure affection to either gender who wants to be cherished. And yet Yahweh thought of sexuality and sex.
Yes, I just said that because it's true. Yahweh, Ruwah and Yeshua are not perverts, but they did create everything we see and once upon a time it was perfect until free will happened in a garden and one spiritual being and two mortal beings decided to mess everything up for everyone. I realize now as an adult that all those events from my home life and school life was not and the pain that came with those remarks at my appearance was not my fault. I realize all those rumors were out of my control and not my fault. When I cursed these people and wished they would die? That was fault. When I wanted to hurt them beyond words when the pain got too much to bear, that was my fault. When I submitted to their garbage and let devils’ toy with my mind over the doctrine of the Bible? That was also my fault.
I asked Yahweh to truly save me and show me true love, true acceptance. This is not to be confused with acceptance of sinful lifestyles or thinking. It's not homosexual to straight, it's from lost to free. It's from confused, to common sense. It's from rejected, to accepted under the grace and mercy of Jehoshua Christ. I didn't come this far to remain confused about my sexuality. Same sex marriage, liking both genders, shacking up with people you're not married too AKA fornication, whoring around, having sex with family members who are your 1ist-3rd cousins, having sex with objects/items and animals is classified as sexual immortality.
But at its core, it's just sin. The same old tactic Lucifer wants to use against people to break us, in turn to get us to despise Yahweh, or deceive into thinking Yahweh likes what we do in the name of love. Love, true, divine, pure love... doesn't require sex. When Yahweh showed me what true love is and that it was just a demonic act of Hell, a middle finger to his face my entire spiritual views of Yahweh shifted. People still accuse me of being a homosexual, among other horrible things. It's cool. I know what I am in Christ. I know what I use to think I was too and all it was just a lie. All. Lies. If I must suffer affliction then it's going to be over a lie.
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Blog post written by Artzenin Eklektós
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